Happy Place Revisited
by Storm Carnegie

Okay folks, Iím back in that ďhappy placeĒ once again. And I just have to be selfish and gloat for just a wee bit here.  I love this place. A couple of weeks ago I left my happy place to visit a week of the ďblack pit of hellĒ, but my travel agent got me booked back to the happy place once again and Iím doing my best to remain here because it here where I belong.  Iím learning each day new triggers that help keep me happy and up and which triggers that will bring me down. I avoid those downer triggers as if they were carriers of the bubonic plague! I donít ever want to go back down that far again. Ever! Never!  The Zombie Zone isnít bad, but the black pit from hell is just too much to handle and I have a deep seeded fear that each time I sink that low, I may never return.


So I shall do my utmost to stay just where I am. Hell, I even think my cats are in the happy zone with me and they arenít even on medications! LOL Maybe its just transference from their owner. As for me, I think that new magical med that was added to my fairy dust of combinations was definitely a good mixture after all. Gotta give the head doc a thumbs up for this move. Of course only time will tell. I could end up growing a Jekyll and Hyde double-headed personality in time and end up only Lord knows where, but I seriously doubt it. Generally speaking, if a new med is going to cause me trouble, I will know it within the first three or four days. And Iíve been on this one for over a week and things are looking great.


My energy level has increased, and my appetite has decreased, so maybe Iíll lose some of this medication-induced weight Iíve gained in the past year. That alone is enough to make anyone depressed.  Isnít it ironic that the medication that we need to save our sanity is what will generally make us gain weight and that in turn causes even more depression? I canít even begin to count how many emails I get from distraught bipolars who are so terribly upset over their weight gains due to their medications. They canít decide if they want to be overweight and stable or to be thin and erratic. I have to admit, it is a difficult choice. The nonbipolar person may not see the difficulty in making such a choice, but I certainly do and my empathy goes out to each one of them.


If I lived alone and didnít have to socialize with any people and could just become a hermit Iíd say to hell with the meds and go off them completely and go back to my 110 lbs and be a nut case. But since Iím getting married which means getting a new family in the bargain, itís obviously more imperative for me to remain on the meds and start exercising to lose 30 pounds to get back to that 110 the hard way and stay stable. Only problem isóIím lazy.  <grin>  And I sit at a computer all day. Not a lot of calorie burning going on there.  But my husband-to-be swears that we will exercise together and besides, I will have two huge lawns to do my extensive flower gardening in and eventually a pool to do my lap swimming in, so medications be damned, I will lose the weight and STILL remain stable!


So listen up all you bipolars who are overweight because of the meds, the only thing we can do unfortunately is exercise that added weight off. I know it sucks, but that is what has to be done. The meds alter our metabolism and some of them increase our food cravings. I know that one of my meds has given me a sugar craving that I have never in my life ever had before! I mean I have NEVER craved sweets like I do now. So come everybody, lets get out those sweatpants and get to it. If youíre like me, your sweatpants are about the only thing that fits anymore anyway!













Copyrighted 2001 by Storm Carnegie. All rights reserved and protected. Not to be reprinted in any format without the expressed consent of the author.


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