I met Michael over a year ago. At that time
neither of us knew anything about him being bipolar. You could have said
the word to me and as educated as I am, I wouldn't have known the first
thing about it.
When I met him he was still trying to cope
with the loss of his whole family. His parents and wife had been stolen
from his life all within a year. That itself is hard for anyone to
Drinking became an everyday issue with
He drank to escape the pain and guilt he
felt. Still not knowing about having bipolar disorder.
His drinking hit the point to where it was
effecting our relationship. It was not only hurting him, it was hurting
me also. He started therapy to learn how to let go of those he had
lost..to let go of the pain, guilt, shame, and the thousand other
emotions he was feeling.
Things just didn't seem to work. He was still
having the mood swings. One day up as high as a kite, the next reverting
into a shell that no one could get to. The next mean and nasty, snapping
at everyone over the smallest things.
A friend had asked me about him being
bipolar. This was the first time I heard this so I looked it up, and
started to read. The more that I read the more I knew he was. What I was
reading what describing the man I loved.
I suggested to Michael about being tested to
see if he was bipolar and he had told me he was before.
I asked him to please for me be tested again,
and this time ask them to test him for that..knowing that it is often
He had the testing done on Friday and that
Monday he got the results, it was positive. This was November of 2004.
They had started therapy in a new way along
with medication. But Michael was still drinking. It wasn't working.
His drinking was hurting him, me and us even
more than ever. December 30th, 2004 was the final straw. I had enough. I
could no longer take this. He wasn't doing the things he was suppose to.
That was also enough for Michael. Not willing to lose me also, he
stopped drinking. He no longer skipped therapy as before and was now
committed to getting himself well so we could go on with our life
together and future.
Each day is a struggle and fight for him. He
now in therapy is not only trying to get his bipolar disorder under
control with no more symptoms but he is also letting go, grieving,
His moods are still raging..his emotions fly
every which way. I no longer sit and wonder. I read and learn all I can
about his disorder. I can not understand how to help him or deal with
this myself without it.
Learning all you can is a vital part. His
mood swings have many times made me want to say I give up..this isn't
worth it. After I learned, and still learning each day, all that I can
about bipolar disorder I now know and have some idea of what I should
expect and how to handle those things.
Michael and I are very optimistic about this
and we plan on soon being married. Never give up hope. Never stop
learning all you can, without the knowledge I have now, and continue to
get, I would have walked away, and Michael would have stopped trying.