I am 38 years old and have 4 children and I also suffer from Bipolar.  Bipolar for me has been a crippling disorder that has sometimes had the better of me.  My mood swings are frequent.  Lately I have been rapid cycling all over the place.  This has been extremely hard for my family.  My husband and I live separately but he is still a huge support for me.  My children know about my disorder but still sometimes have a hard time with it as things are constantly changing for them depending on my mood of the hour or day.                                  

I see a psychologist once a week and am on an anti psychotic drug called alanzapine.  I am not however psychotic.  This seems to be helping with sleeping at nights. I will be going of them soon and trying a drug free therapy. I have been on so many pills over the years, none of them really work for me anymore.        

I was only diagnoses say 7 years ago, but have suffered from this all my life.  I remember when I was a teenager, trying to commit suicide all the time and being very emotionally upset for lots of different reasons. One main one being that my both parents were alcoholics. 

I have been hospitalized several times for breakdowns. However now I have joined a bipolar group and this seems to be of great value to me as I now realize I am not alone with this.  We discuss symptoms and relate to each otherís stories as well as give some sound advice to how we all deal with our illness.  I have met many people there like myself who struggle day to day with their illness. We understand each other and can support each other through the bad days.

I will be starting a university course on line soon and then hopefully go to the local university next year to study Psychology.  I am really looking forward to this, as it not only will be therapeutic for me but also will help me focas on a goal that interests me.


 Email Leila


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