hi all my name is eric and
I have bi-polar and have been taking meds for
like 6 yrs now, and have been for the most part been pretty stable.
i would say my childhood was pretty
normal (ha except my dad has bi-polar too) so i'm not going to touch that. so let me start with how i first came to realise i
from like high school on i was never very confident in myself
except in work or things i made so i put too much on things instead of ME.
after i quit school i started working construction and concentrated on that
instead of really taking time to grow as a person. so i would work many hours
and to tell the truth it did make me feel good that i could lets say OUT DO
the other guys. but in the long run didn't do me any good cause we are all
replaceable and if we start too much sh** well you know! so then i was kinda
going job to job and getting more disgusted with being treated like dirt.
but at that point i met my wife and had kids so had to pay the
bills. also the
fact that having kids put a lot more stress on me and started having trouble
dealing with it (and of course my wife) so we started fighting a lot more and
so we come to what finally made me realize somethin aint right lol. i had put
my head through the wall during a fight (banged my head and punched walls
a lot back then) so went to family doctor and he started me off on anti
depressants which sent me manic and started my hell of finding the right
combo of meds.
so today i feel lucky that i have found something that
works, because it took hitting bottom to get me there ,and see that at least there's hope
the past year i was in hospital three times each of which ive
learned quite a bit and gotten to meet some great people (and some that aren't) so before the hospitals and stuff i never had anyone that i could
chat with who lived it.
so to close id like to share a few things that ive
learned the hard way! so maybe someone else doesnt have to go through it.
first would be DON'T SWITCH meds near christmas! do research on meds before
because my wife had found the one works for me, also having a seizure cause of
meds, thank god i wasn't driving at the time. and that even if you do go to
hospital and get help don't count on them for everything because last visit i
took a walk to the top of the parking garage looked down and and thought
what the he** am i doing here, so after being out for like 45mins security saw
me and said we've been looking all over for you so i said to them "where do
ya think a suicdal patient would go? duh up!!!" so even with help its not
always what it should be.
but i have to thank my wife for all she's done and
put up with!!!! I LOVE YOU JEN . and hope if your reading this and looking for answers ,well its usually right next to you so reach out and
touch someone. ERIC