Is My Fiancee Ill
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Q:  Is My Fiancée Ill?


Hello,

I am in a total mess with my fiancee. I have  had a very successful life and career till now and since i met my finacee, everything in my life is a disaster. I am wondering if he has a mental problem or bipolar disorder or something.

My fiancee has a very suspicious nature. He is professionally very very competent and is hard working but in personal relationships , he has always created a mess. With me , he is so sweet when i am sweet .but when he gets angry , he gets so mad that he calls me names that i can't even ever think about anyone. he has very sharp mood swings. he gets too excited at something good and gets totally turned off at even a small thing unpleasant that happens. he has a problem trusting me.  he used to smoke and drink at times, he drinks a lot of caffeine too.  he talks a lot and loses track of what he is saying, goes on and on, i have never seen anyone who can talk so much. he just goes on and on, and thats what he needs- someone to talk to. he goes in extremes to help me out too. i sometimes feel he is not mentally sound so i shud leave him. but then i also love him too much for the nice things he does and the way he just depends on me and no one else. he says that he used to lie a lot in his childhood but he doesn't lie anymore, but i get a feeling that he lies even now with me. when he does something he doesn't realize what he is doing, only when i tell him later or when he is out of that loop, he realizes and feels guilty about his actions.  he has done wierd things in past , like once he agreed to marry a girl just becoz she was in a terrible shape. sometimes i get a feeling that he is lying to me sometimes that he is completely honest.

Please advice if he is ill or its just that i am getting paranoid.

Thanks.

Dear Ms. S' -- 
Whew.  Too tough.  Can't tell from that info' whether he's : a) bipolar, as you may have suspected given that you're writing here; or b) a very emotional guy who doesn't deserve a diagnosis necessarily but might do well seeing a therapist; or c) a bit on the "antisocial personality disorder" side (read about
that, for starters).  Will he see somebody, just to see what they recommend for him (and for you)? 

Dr. Phelps

Published November, 2001
 

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