Frustrated - I Don't Know Where to Turn
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Q:  Frustrated - I Don't Know Where to Turn

I'm 25 years old and have been going through 12 years of unlucky,unqualified phychiatric help.As i'm getting older I find it almost near impossible to wake up to another day of struggle.I start with a doctor and it's good for the first few weeks to a month I feel like this is the one doctor that is going to help me and then it all happens the doctor does or says something that I may disagree with or he gives me a medication{mainly antipsychotics} that i have horrible side effects and i loose faith and hope and I stop going.I've gotten to almost the end I'm having trouble just breathing I moved to a different state to get away thinking somewhere new will help and then that it's worst. I have so much trouble working. There's periods of times where I can't remember what's going on in my life. I recently moved a few months again to another state because I couldn't handle anything anymore and left my 6 yr old child with my family thinking they will all be better off without me and now in a new state and horribly guilty about leaving my baby and family and with everything else under my belt I don't know where to turn I've been diagnosed with bordrline,bipolar,anxiety,ocd,bdd and have very little or no trust with doctors exspecially state help. I have no money and no where to go and I really think at the brink of insanity I don't know how live anymore.I had so many questions and now I don't know what they where and am quiet sure you will not see this. I guess I'm just rambling on out of fustration.


Dear Nicole --
Your frustration is understandable.  Your experience is shared by many (mostly women, unfortunately).  Your pattern of "overvaluing and devaluing" is common, and even people who do not feel these things as strongly as you do can show that pattern, to a degree.  The key in the long run is to plant yourself in a community you'd like to stay in; find a therapist and/or psychiatrist who's "good enough", then stick with them even when you find them to be idiots, as you probably will as things go along.  Read more about treatment of "borderline personality disorder" and how it is so hard to distinguish from bipolar disorder, and why ultimately it doesn't make that much difference what you call it, in this essay on my site.   Good luck to you.

Dr. Phelps

Published July, 2001


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