MENTAL HEALTH: MANIC-DEPRESSIVE: FAMILY

If you are one of the very few that have chosen to stay with your "bipolar"

here are a few things you can do.

1. You are not alone & You are not crazy.

a = although there is very few of us and I am one! That is why I am writing this.

2. You can not change what they are!

a = even if you were to run through-out the house naked & did what every they said.

3. You must remember that you are #1

a = in mind, body and soul.

b = In the way you look, walk, talk you are #1.

4. You love the person and not the disorder.

a = that means that you do not walk on egg shells.

b = just because they enter the room you do not stop talking.

5. when you are in a discussion you keep it on the subject of the discussion.

a = "it is called the five minute rule".

b = If you are discussing that blue dress you keep it on the blue dress and not go to football.

6. Go to a support group.

7. Find all the information you can. like books, TV, Radio, Internet etc

THE TWELVE THINGS *

1. Donít regard this as a family disgrace or a subject of shame.

2. Donít nag, preach or lecture to the person. Chances are he/she has already told him or herself everything you can tell them. He/she will take just so much and then shut out the rest. You may only increase their feeling of isolation or force them to make promises that they cannot possibly keep. "I promise Iíll fell better tomorrow honey: Iíll do it then okay?"

3. Guard against the "holier-then-thou or martyr-like" attitude.

It is possible to create this impression without saying a word.

A person suffering from a mood disorder has an emotional sensitivity such that

he/she judges other peopleís attitudes toward him/her more by actions, 

even small ones then by the spoken words.

4. Donít use the "if you loved me" appeal. Since persons with mood disorder are not in control of their affection, this approach only increases guilt.

"It is like saying if you loved me you would not have diabetes."

5. Avoid any threats unless you think it through carefully and definitely intend to carry them out! There may be times, of course, when a specific action is necessary to protect children. Idle threats only make the person feel you donít mean what you say.

6. If the person uses drug and/or alcohol, donít take it away from them or try to hid it.

Usually this only pushes the person into a state of depression.

In the end he/she will simply find new ways of getting more dug or alcohol if he/she wants them badly enough. This is not the time or place for a power struggle.

7. On the other hand, if excessive use of dug and/or alcohol is really a problem donít let the person persuade you to use drugs or drink with him/her on the grounds that it will make him/whir use less. It rarely doss. Besides, when you Condemn the use of drugs or alcohol, it is likely to cause the person to put off seeking necessary help.

8. Donít be jealous of the method of recovery the person choose.

The tendency is to think that love of home and family is enough incentive to get well, and that outside therapy should not be needed.

9. Donít expect an immediate 100% recovery. In any illness, there is period of

convalescence. There may be relapse and times of tension and resentment.

10. "DONíT TRY" to protect the person from situations which you believe they might find stressful or depressing. One of the quickest ways to push someone with a mood disorder away from you is to make them feel like you want them to be dependent on you. Each person must learn for themselves what works best for them.

Especially in social situations. If, for example, you try to shush people who ask questions about the disorder, treatment, medications, ect.ect., you will most likely stir up old feelings of resentment and inadequacy.

Let the person decide for THEMSELVES whether to answer the questions, or to

gracefully say "Iíd prefer to discuss something else, and I really hope that doesnít offend you."

11.Donít do for the person that which he/she can do for him/herself.

You cannot take the medicine for them, you cannot feel their, feelings and you cannot solve their, problems fore him/her. SO DONíT TRY.

Donít remove problems before the person can face them, solve them or suffer the consequences.

12. Do Offer Love, Support, and understanding in the recovery, regardless of the method chosen. For example, some people choose to take meds; some choose not to.

Each has advantage and disadvantage "more side-effect versus higher instances of reaps, for example." Expressing disapproval of the method chosen will only deepen the personís feeling that anything they do will be wrong.

If you what to learn more about bipolar disorder there is a lot of books.

If you what to learn more about yourself when and how you deal with them come to a support group.

Thanks To:

DMD OF GREATER FLINT AREA FAMILY & FRIENDS OF.

Beginners group is held at McLaren Regional Medical Center at 401 S. Ballenger HWY.

Flint, MI. In dinning room #2 on the ground floor from 2:30- 4: PM. on the first and third Sunday of the month.

HOPE IS ALL WE GOT TO GO ON. BUT WHAT IS LIFE IF IS NOT HOPE FOR A BETTER TOMORROW From 29 years of "LIVING WITH ONE "

For more information call 1-810-789-3609 or fax 1-810-789-3675 email

mvallet@gfn.org

* the twelve things is a reprint from http://graves.ipl.co.uk/~wiz/bipindex.html

 

 

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