THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF BIPOLAR DISORDER

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF BIPOLAR DISORDER

1.Thou shalt not blame everything on chemical imbalance.
2.Thou shalt avoid high places and sharp objects when on either extreme of the
mood spectrum.
3.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's shiny trinkets.
4.Thou shalt not trust any shrink who writes thee up a prescription after the first 15 minutes.
5.Thou shalt not beat up anyone while on a manic fit, no matter how much ye really want to,
or how much they deserve it.
6.Thou shalt indulge in immaturity whenever the urge strikes thee.
7.Thou shalt not break stuff that does not belong to thee.
8.Thou shalt go to bed only when ye feel tired.
9.Thou shalt allow others to occasionally get a word in edgewise.
10.Thou shalt not send people crazy e-mails at odd hours of the night,

Could you have an Internet Addiction? Some signs to look for -

1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

2.) You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't
have a clue as to when it happened.

3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the
plug on a loved one.

6.) You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"

7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site
address on TV.

8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names.

11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them
are already highlighted in purple.

12.) Your dog has its own home page.

13.) You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.

14.) You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.

16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

17.) You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral
nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way
back to bed.

20.) You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" --
even though you don't have a job.

21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

22.) Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

23.) You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher."

24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you
never log off.

25.) The last girl you picked up was only a GIF.

26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your
computer with a toilet.

27.) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another
computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to
search for the "back" button.

The Top Ten Reasons that you might have Bi-polar disorder

10. You think Robin Williams should Perk Up.
9. You just bought the Kenny G and Berry Manilow box set just because.
8. You think going to bed on Monday and getting up on Friday is a good rest.
7. What do you mean you’re tired—I had only 3 orgasms!
6. You can not remember the number 7.
5 You know the names of at least three antidepressants and fifteen
mood stabilizers.
4 Your cat’s name is Kay and your dog’s name is Jamison.
3 You bring your own research to the doctor’s.
2 You think a drive from Vancouver, BC to Miami is something to do
in four days.

And the Number One reason you may be Bipolar is:

1 Last night you understood the secrets to the universe and this
morning you are contemplating whether the jam goes on top of the
peanut butter or under it.

Or for those of you on the Net:
1B. You know who James is

Top 10 Reasons Your Girl Friend Might have Bi-Polar Disorder.

10. She is blond AND still has an IQ of 140.
9. She thinks PMS is for wimps.
8. There are times in the year were she STOPS talking.
7. She is the one in the Club dancing with glow sticks.
6. She takes drugs to have a normal state instead of freaking out.
5. One word - EXTREME
4. Always interesting.
3. DON’T PISS HER OFF.
2. Never any problem with money, because she will have spent it all.

And the Number One Reason You Know Your Girl Friend is Bi-Polar.

1. She is the most interesting ,smart, caring, beautiful, sexy, loving
person you will ever have the honor to meet.

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on
mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How
would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth
screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a
chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”