John Haeckel's Bipolar Page

John, who has been affected by bipolar disorder
for many years, and is a Vietnam veteran presents
original poetry and more.  Read John's personal story

Bipolar World thanks you John!

      Pacing in the Dark 

"It's your watch get up on deck" 
Up I go I receive my empty rifle 
And start my watch back and forth 
My duty is to guard our ship in the 
Pitch darkness of a moonless nite 
My mind begins to race I know he's there 
Faster and faster I go looking into blackness 
The deck I pace not knowing his face I pace 
What was that? Will I die tonite? 
Faster and harder I walk every muscle so tight 

My heart is pounding ready to explode 
Suddenly he is there in my face 
He is gone but I can't scream I try and try 
But only a whimper comes out 
There I lay my bed all a mess my heart racing 
I am covered in sweat and my legs are aching 
From all my nocturnal pacing

Glad To Be Back

  John Haeckel

Hair a mess nails getting longer
Do you know this guy? Who is he?
Do I know him? Very well I do
I thought he was gone as I was runnin' high
It felt sooo good to be in charge on top
King of the world, a consort with Angels
God was my pal and we had plans
Why did I fall down and not get up
Why shave who cares I am useless now 
Got no purpose the Angels and all my Helpers have left
Now I am all alone to fight the darkness all around me
What was that?... That light wow
Was I just trippin'? It couldn't have been a dream
It is so nice to be here again

Up Up and Away

Slowly I dragged my self of the couch 
Where I laid for days and weeks on end
Today is a good day to start movin about
I'll get caught up in a hurry all this energy
It is oh so good i feel like I'm getting stronger by the minute
I think I'll go buy some things a couple of  hammers 
Two or three bicycles just in case I want to ride
A few TVs to watch so I don't get bored
I can buy whatever I know this I have lots of checks
Man I feel good
Alll this energy I must be blessed
That's it God has chosen me I'm the One
I'll save the world from all the demons all about
He has given me his power and I can do Anything


Joy does return

Several clumps of new shoots
Here and there along my path
How grateful I am you have returned
Not just for your beauty
But for reminding me
Of just how magnificent life is
And even when it looks like all is gone
Buried even in the damp and cold
You bounce right back and show me
With your awesome blossoms
That life goes on and on
And can be as beautiful as ever

by John Haeckel



Snap pop bang pop whizz 
My leads whipped all about
Thrown to the middle of the bay
In an instant without mercy
Caught by natures fury
The small boat was tossed
And bounced high and low
Like a cork in a blender
I new it wouldn't hold up
In my terror I prayed
Get me out of this I'll do Anything
Along came a tug boat and I was saved

Klunk klunk pa phizz went the motor
Our small boat's outboard had died
Dusk was on the river now
The mother ship Askari anchored 
We were adrift down the river 
Lost in the Darkness
Rapidly washing out to sea
I  prayed get me out of this 
I'll do Anything
You sent another tug boat and I was saved
Thank you God for all the tug boats 
I still don't know what I can do for you

John Haeckel

Clear Cut

I saw you weeping 
Rivers of mud, rocks and debris
Why do you weep so
As I walked through the trees
That lined the hwy  I could see
What have they done
To you majestic mountain
What have they done
If never I saw your tears
I would have never known
Tricky bastards covered their tracks
Lining the hwy with your best
Leaving you with nothing 
Nothing to keep back your tears
What were they thinking 
Scalping you with their clear-cut
Serves them right to lose their roads
I'll be moving on good bye 'ol friend
The stupid jerks wonder
What has happened to the air
They breath and water they drink

 John's Page Two





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Partners:  John Haeckel, Judith (Duff)
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